i hate feelings, i hate feeling like shit about everything, and i just want to be happy with everything in my life. But whenever i start to feel happy about something, i ruin it in some way and hate myself for it and ugh i just fucking want to be happy, but being sad makes me happy and i dont fucking get it.
I can’t stand being at school anymore. It’s gotten to the stage where I would literally do anything just so I don’t have to go. I’m so sick of sitting in class and feeling completely stupid because I can’t understand anything at all. I honestly can’t see the point when every single lesson I just feel like walking out in tears. ugh.